These things come in threes. After the first edition in 2019 and the second in 2023, the first and only ranking of «tactical smoke sellers» is back, and this time we are going all in, because the third edition opens up to the whole world. When we published the results and conclusions of the second edition we put in writing that we would find a way to make the third ranking more objective, get more people involved and reach beyond Spain. Well, here it is, with all three.
One thing first, for anyone landing here from outside Spain. This blog is written in Spanish and has been since 2010, so the links in this article open Spanish-language articles. The form at the end is bilingual and you can fill it in in English, and the same goes for the ballot in the voting phase.
The picture has not improved since 2023, rather the opposite. Instructors and training schools of doubtful reputation keep multiplying, with training and experience that are questionable to say the least. We have had to devote a whole series to how to size up a course and an instructor before, during and after suffering or enjoying them, we have watched a self-appointed instructor recommend taping over the sights to go «from amateur to professional», and we have even been sold «Hoplology» as a science. Smoke is in rude health and it does not understand borders, if it ever did.
As we made clear in the two previous editions, the idea is not ours. We copied it ─with their express permission─ from «quédate con el cambio, sabandija asquerosa», a Spanish blog that has run several smoke seller rankings in a different field. It struck us as a necessary exercise then and it still does. We believe the way forward is honesty and straight dealing, not popularity on social media. Popularity does not turn anyone into a smoke seller, of course. The lack of honesty and straight dealing does.
A word on the name, because it does not travel straight into English. In Spanish we call these people «vendehúmos», which literally means smoke sellers. It is not a modern coinage either. The Romans already said fumum vendere, to sell smoke, meaning to make empty promises, and you can find it in Martial and in the Historia Augusta, which tells how the emperor Severus Alexander had a courtier who sold access to him tied to a stake and choked with the smoke of wet wood, while a herald announced that he who sold smoke was being punished by smoke. The closest thing English has is the snake oil salesman, and that one has a documented origin too. In 1916 the Bureau of Chemistry, the forerunner of the FDA, analysed Clark Stanley’s Snake Oil Liniment and found mineral oil, beef fat, chilli pepper and turpentine in it, and no snake oil at all. Stanley was fined 20 dollars. Two languages, two thousand years apart, and the same trade. We will use both terms here.
According to Fundéu, the foundation for good usage in Spanish, a «vendehúmos» is someone who makes proposals with no grounding, utopian or illusory, or who sells smoke, that is, who promises things that are vain, hollow, unreal and impossible to deliver. We still prefer the definition given by Sergio Vázquez, because it is the most descriptive, complete and accurate. The one who sells smoke is the one who, leaning on his way with words and on a few not very credible tricks, puts himself on show to prove what he does not in fact know or possess. The smoke seller makes a display of knowledge, talents, experience or wealth that he cannot back up, which is why he should not be listened to or, at the very least, should not be believed. To say that somebody sells smoke is to say that what he offers is of little or no value.
Put another way, tell us what you brag about and we will tell you what you lack.
The short film above is Spanish and has no dialogue, so it needs no translation. Now take those traits into the «tactical» world and you have a tactical smoke seller. Anyone come to mind? This time it does not matter where they are from, because the ranking is open to candidates from any country. Whether they are hugely popular, barely known or completely obscure, we are talking about people or organisations that sell smoke ─and charge more or less dearly for it─, in the shape of books, seminars, classes, courses, products or content. People or organisations, in short, that sell «their product», or rather their by-product.
You do not need to taste shit to know it is shit. It usually gives itself away by sight and smell long before it gets to taste.
It works the same democratic way as always, in two phases, a first one to propose candidates and a second one to vote. In this phase, the one starting now, candidates are only proposed. Nothing is voted on yet. The vote comes later, once we have reviewed and consolidated every candidacy. As in the second edition, an email address is required, for the sole purpose of validating proposals and sending out the communications for the ranking, including the ballot, which goes by email to whoever takes part in this phase, and the results, which are emailed to participants and then published, as always, as a subscribers-only article.
The main change this time, along with the worldwide scope, is that proposals are made by ticking specific reasons from a closed list, instead of being justified in writing alone. That is the step we are taking to keep our word and make the ranking more objective. Someone can be a smoke seller for selling training or products without demonstrable training and experience in the subject, for padding a résumé and claiming to have done and been things they never did or were, for teaching inventions with no grounding or validation ─or outright dangerous ones─, for having no documented performance anywhere and running from the timer and the targets, for hiding behind big words to look like they know things they do not, or for running a tactical cult complete with guru, jargon and cheerleaders. The full list of reasons is in the form itself. You only have to tick the ones that apply, and at least one has to be ticked.
The other change is that the public link is now compulsory. Only people and organisations in the public domain can be proposed, meaning they have a public presence, with a website, published articles or an open social media profile. If it is on the Internet, it is public. So every proposal has to include at least one link to that public presence, and the more evidence you provide in the form of links to specific posts, videos or pages, the more weight the candidacy will carry. No public link, no candidacy, and that spares us the flood of proposals with nothing behind them.
This is an exercise in reflection, done with honesty and straight dealing. It is not about airing grudges or personal quarrels, and it is not about cheering on your own tactical guru by proposing his competitors so that he comes out looking good.
You are as free and have as much right to propose whoever you consider a tactical smoke seller as a tactical smoke seller is free and has every right to sell his products in public.
One change we have had to make along the way. To propose a candidate you need a free account on the blog, which takes a minute to set up. We put it in because proposals were coming in with made-up email addresses or with somebody else’s, and if we do not know who is proposing there is no way to count properly, no way to stop the same candidate being slipped in several times by the same hand, and no way to notify anyone about the vote afterwards. With an account the email comes from the system and you do not have to type it.
And while we were at it, we have added something that was missing. Anyone registered can see the list of candidates proposed so far, with their country, their public link and the reasons ticked. Until now nobody but us could see that list.
To propose someone you only have to fill in the form below, once per candidate. If you want to propose several, send the form several times, as many times as candidates.
You have until 11 October 2026 to send in your proposals!
Thank you for taking part.
Esta parte solo está disponible para usuarios registrados. El registro es gratuito y sirve para saber quién propone, evitar duplicados y poder avisarte de la votación y de los resultados. Accede aquí si ya tienes cuenta, o regístrate y vuelve a esta página.
This part is only available for registered users. Registration is free and helps us know who is proposing, avoid duplicates, and notify you about the voting and results. Log in here if you already have an account, or register and return to this page.
NOTICE: The blog is not responsible for the contents, nor for the truthfulness and/or quality of the information provided by its authors and/or users, nor for the use those authors and/or users make of that information. The blog is likewise not responsible for the contributions, opinions, judgements, comments or contents provided by authors or users through any of the means made available to them, such as the website and social media, and does not necessarily share the opinions and contents provided by its authors and/or users. Responsibility lies with the author and/or user.
Basic information on data protection. Controller: Jorge Tierno Rey. Purpose: to manage the candidacies and to send the communications for the ranking (validation, ballot and results). Legal basis: consent of the data subject. Recipients and processors: no data is passed on to third parties; the owner has contracted web hosting services from Raiola Networks, which acts as data processor. Rights: to access, rectify and erase the data, by writing to elblogdetirotactico@gmail.com. Further information in the privacy policy, available in Spanish.
